


For The Discerning Gentleman

by effing_gravity (Malteaser)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Humor, M/M, More Fluffy Than It Sounds, Sex Work, Trans Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malteaser/pseuds/effing_gravity
Summary: An extremely short glimpse into a universe where everyone is human, and Aziraphale and Tracy share both a landlord and a profession.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Madame Tracy (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 160
Collections: Good Omens Kink Meme





	For The Discerning Gentleman

"I am really tremendously sorry about all this," Aziraphale said, for probably the eighteenth time.

"You're the one with the banged-up hand," Crowley said, at the same time as Tracy protested "I'm the one who came in swinging a cricket bat!"

Roughly half an hour earlier Crowley had been laying on the bed, tied down, blissed out, and blindfolded.

"What do you say to one more, dear boy?" Aziraphale had asked, two of his fingers already nudging back inside. "Do you think you can do that for me?"

Yeah, of course Crowley could come a- fourth? fifth?- time. Aziraphale was really, really, stupidly good at giving him orgasms, from earth-shattering screamers that made him squirt for the first time since he'd started T, to ones that were almost gentle. Worse, he was really good at making Crowley want to please him, to be good for him. He kept making it way too easy to want to spend time with him- probably a good business practice for him, but it played hell on Crowley's issues.

Subspace tended to quiet those last concerns, so Crowley had just nodded, and hummed. And then his bloody fucking mobile phone had rung.

"Fuck, sorry," he said, thrown right out of the scene. "That's me, I forgot to turn off the-"

"Oh _fuck_ ," Aziraphale said, which was all the warning he had before the door burst open.

As he'd been blindfolded at the time, Crowley had not actually seen it, but apparently Tracy had come in wielding a cricket bat, Aziraphale had thrown out a hand to stop her and caught the bat mid swing, and here they all were now, more or less fully clothed and all bundled up in Tracy's kitchen.

Apparently, _Don't Stop Me Now_ was not only Crowley's default ringtone, but Tracy and Aziraphale's prearranged distress signal, in case one of them had a client that was getting violent.

Crowley had examined Aziraphale's hand, and he'd come to the conclusion that it was most likely not broken but some ice and whatever NSAIDs Tracy had on hand were in order.

"I still say you should go to A&E," Tracy said, setting down their tea.

"Crowley has some medical training," Aziraphale said, reaching for his mug.

"I tried doing medicine in college like fifteen years ago. Did my foundation training and everything, and then realized that I hated it, so I left," Crowley said. "If you're having trouble moving it in the morning you should take it to someone who actually stuck with it."

Aziraphale grunted.

"I'll make sure he does, luv," Tracy said, sitting down across from them. Crowley thought she might be studying him a bit too keenly, but then again, he was in a really weird mental place right now. "So," she said. "You're not a doctor... are you the landscape designer, then?"

"Yeah! Yeah, that's me." Did Aziraphale talk about him? That was... that was a thought.

"He's a very good one too, as I understand it," Aziraphale said. The hand not currently buried under a towel-wrapped bag of frozen peas came to rest around Crowley's waist. "You've got an entry in the Chelsea Flower Show this year, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it's a really big deal." Crowley said, and then spent a good twenty minutes rambling on about how they had to trick the Szechuan peppercorn plant into flowers a good month earlier than it wanted to, and how fuchsia berries actually made a really nice jam, apparently, and hedgerows in general were just sort of criminally overlooked.

It was very normal, apart from Tracy's presence and the setting. Tea and rambling with Aziraphale's arm around him was generally how they did aftercare.

"Oh it sounds lovely," Tracy said, as Aziraphale made a noise of agreement. "I wish I could go, but the tickets can be really hard to come by."

"Oh, I could show you," Crowley said automatically. "I get a few tickets to give to family members and such, since I have a garden to entered, but I..." His voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying.

"Oh, would you?" Tracy gushed, seemingly oblivious. "That would be lovely, wouldn't it, Aziraphale?"

"I- yes. Yes, yes it would," Aziraphale said.

 _Well_ , Crowley thought, mildly horrified, _I hope I can get through this without somehow fucking it up._

**Author's Note:**

> IDK, guys. I saw the prompt, I wrote a little thing for the prompt, and then I complete forgot about it until I was scrambling through my drafts folder looking for stuff for my Big Bang that I could have sworn I'd already written. I don't feel terribly about it, so I'm going to put it here while I finish polishing the last few chapters of my Big Bang before the drop dead posting date of tomorrow.


End file.
